Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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