Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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