So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
