i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
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