OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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