After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
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He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
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The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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