It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
