Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
