Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
