there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Ladies don't puke and tell
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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