You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
