Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
