I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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