We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize