I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
