I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
