i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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