my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
