her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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