Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
