I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
