Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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