What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
