in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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