Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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