Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
