Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
