THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
