Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
