How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
