Why does Corona taste like a burp?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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