i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
