I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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