I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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