You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
