I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize