Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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