I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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