booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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