I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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