if you like me you must not know who I am
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
