I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize