.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
