Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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