Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
