I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
my liver is dry heaving
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
