Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
