Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I need water and some morals
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
