Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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