Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
