Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
