She announced her abortion via fbk
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
