How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
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I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
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We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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