is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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